Remember when this was here?

"The documentation of a horribly damaged soldier, trying to adapt, and live, in a world that is often confusing.

I tried really hard to die over there. But somehow... I lived...

And here I sit. Struggling daily to live life as a civilian.

A lot of people think I'm crazy.

I'm not... I just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. I'd be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody's face. Or in a Roman arena, taking my sword to other gladiators like me.

My life is violence.

I'm lost...
I do not belong to anything, nor to anyone.

About Me...

As stated in my final discharge psych evaluation from the U.S. Army..."Captain (Jake) is a mass of contradictions. There's a subsurface violence almost always in control, but very much alive. There's also a pensiveness that seems sometimes painful, though Captain (Jake) rarely gives vent to the anger that pain provokes."

Those are really big words that simply mean I'm mentally unbalanced, but not in a "grab a rifle, climb a tower" kind of way.

I spent 17 years in the U.S. Army, and saw combat in Kuwait, Central America, Somalia, Haiti, Bosnia, Kosovo, Iraq and Afghanistan.

I've killed people. I've been shot and blown up, and I've watched too many of my friends die. At this point I have more dead friends than live ones.

I just recently retired from the Army after a rather brutal injury suffered in Iraq. All of my adult life; all of the formative years anyways, were spent in the Army, in one combat zone or another. Because of this, my view on life differs greatly from the average civilian.

This Blog is my attempt to make sense of the chaos I live in, and my daily fight for control.